Wednesday, March 30, 2016


I'm a few posts behind. Lately this project has felt more like an impediment on my life than a source of discovery. I'm sure that will change as the days go on, but each time I miss a day I have that little nagging voice telling me I've fucked something up. "You committed to a hundred consecutive days. You said you'd do it. The day is over and you missed it. You're behind yet another day." Some days I give the stress a dejected nod "yes, I know, I'll get to it. I'll make it up." Other days I think "this is a thing I decided to do... for fun? For fulfillment? as an outlet? I'm not really accountable to anyone for this but myself." But the nagging mind persists.

So, officially, I am absolving myself of the stress that comes with this obligation. I do still intend to complete my hundred days. And I still intend to post every day. But, if circumstance or tiredness or forgetfulness prevents that now and again I will not be beating myself up about it. A friend pointed out today that the point is not the project itself but the things that surface when one is prompted to write daily.

I have been really busy lately with living life. Doing fun things with old friends, new friends, putting my new life together. Buying things I sort of need (more on that later). I started watching Sex and the City, which I'd only ever seen a couple episodes of, at the encouragement insistence of a girlfriend at work. I delayed it a bit because I felt like I'd  been living it too much to bother with sitting down and watching it. Why live vicariously when you can just live the thing itself. Its entertaining enough. As is my personal life.

At any rate, I'm still here. I'll still post. But I won't be guilt tripping myself over this damned thing. I've cut off human relationships for less, why would I do it to myself.

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