Thursday, March 3, 2016


Today is my half birthday. In exactly one and a half years I will be 30.

Most of the time I'm just cruising along in my consciousness, the same one I've had all my life perceiving the world through this lens as it evolved from the perspective of a child through adolescence, through the struggles and joys of adulthood. I think our self-concept, our egos, the way we want things to be, skews the accuracy of how we see things . Once in a while, though, I look in the mirror through the same consciousness I had when I was maybe 11, and I see myself for what I am now. A woman of 28 with a few gray hairs, some dark circles under my eyes, a mortgage and a divorce under my belt. It's refreshing and terrifying all at once.

I'm not really bothered by it, and I'm not plagued by a fear of getting older. I don't dye my hair, I acknowledge my fine lines, and I've bid my final farewell to the body I had at 17 some time ago. I'm content with my experience at this slice of my timeline.

Time stops for no one and I'm far less worried about it doing what it does to me physically and more concerned with what I do with myself in the meantime. I'm enjoying my life and I've worked hard to build a life I love. A dear friend passed along the message this evening that there is no finish line, (except for the final finish line, and I'm in no hurry to get there). Not every inevitability needs to be rushed.

Two months down in 2016 and my theme of slowing down and settling in to enjoy the fruits of my labor is an ever evolving challenge. Here's to finding finesse and grace in spite of (or in concert with) time's relentlessness.

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