As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm not a fan of uncertainty. I'm also not really down with being in limbo. For example, I want to just leave the last chapter of my life behind as just that, and move on and do my thing. But, I can't really do that yet. I have someone else's stuff in my house. I have someone else's phone line on my account. There are loose ends to tie up. I hate loose ends.
I spent part of today being angry. I was frustrated at the limits my graciousness and consideration put on getting things taken care of and buttoning things up. I was upset that the very person who put me in this position required even more leeway and coddling in order to just be functional. I was angry remembering that he'd mentioned not wanting to take advantage of the kindness of the person he's staying with. Or that it would be inconvenient to move large pieces of furniture twice. Do you mean like how you took advantage of MY kindness over the last year and a half? And what about how my life is inconvenienced while my home is treated like a storage unit?
Addicts make it all about them. They require special treatment and walking on eggshells to not disrupt the perfectly sheltered environment they require in order to not succumb to the irresistible lure of their drug of choice. At least that's what they'd have you believe. Poor them. Life is hard and drugs are so enticing. Well, I've never had any trouble avoiding heroin, so... I'm gonna go ahead and step off the crazy train and say tough shit. There will be no sugar coating from my corner. You might not like what I have to say but by all rights you deserve to hear it and let it really sink in.
Anyway. I'd like to get on with putting my spare bedroom together. I've got the furniture picked out, but I'm not sure whether I'm going to go with a grey/purple/beiges restful spa feel color scheme or a sage/terra cotta/tan farmhouse feel. I guess I'll see how it looks once I get it.