Wednesday, March 9, 2016


I missed my midnight deadline again. This is hard. Life is hard. Separating all of your belongings from those of your heroin addict boyfriend is hard. Trying to get through the day when every few minutes your thoughts are invaded by the idea of him wasting away is hard.
Talking to his dad about it is hard. Knowing that he isn't grasping the reality or gravity of the situation is especially hard.

Feelings are complicated. Like how you can not want to be with someone but still care for them and want them to have a good, healthy fulfilling life. I never wanted it to be this way. I never in a million years would have guessed this. I would have preferred being cheated on to this.

Wherever you are, get clean. Take care of yourself. Be well. Know that people love you and want to help you. Put away your shame, your ego, your embarrassment and let people help you. Get the help you need because you can't do it alone.

If you can't do it for you, try to do it for everyone who might hurt to see you hurting yourself.

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